For Whom The Bell Tolls

I've never really understood the ringing of church bells. I mean, I understand their historic purpose and role, but nowadays I am usually baffled when I hear the clanging in the local church steeple.

There is just no rhyme or reason to it anymore.

In some towns, the bells can still easily alert you to the new hour of the day. Or, perhaps they still signal the joy of victory for a local sports team (hail to Wait Chapel). But more often than not, I am left dumbfounded as the bells ring without any obvious purpose.

Today, I took a walk though a small town near the Czech border. I meandered and eventually found a bench near a charming little church. I sat and pulled out a book and my journal. It was a lovely setting. Truly.

Then, at 6:00pm, the church bells started ringing. I paused from my reading, tilted my head back towards the blue sky, and soaked in the charm of small-town Germany. I expected the typical bell-song followed by the steady ding-dong-ding-dong indicating the six o'clock hour. I silently counted along. But, six ding-dongs quickly passed while the dinging and donging continued. And continued.

Until 6:14pm.

I wrote the exact time down because I was so amazed. Ding-dong for 14 straight minutes! Around 6:08, I began to read again but all my concentration was zapped by the bells. I couldn't make it through a whole sentence without the ringing intruding my mental focus. Soon enough, I literally started laughing out loud at the absurdity of the situation. The ringing would simply not cease!

That's when I realized that I didn't understand the ringing of church bells anymore.

But, at 6:14pm, the bells did stop ringing, and I was able to get back to my book. But, only for a few more minutes. At 6:21pm, the bells started ringing again. This time the monotonous ding-dong-ding-dong was replaced with a more vibrant ding-dong-clang-bang-dong-ding-gong-cling-ding-dong. And again, the reason was lost on me.

I closed my book. Took my feet out of the tall grass and placed them back in my flip flops and started walking away. The bells rang until I was too far to register their sound.

I don't know why those bells were ringing. And I'll gladly ask for whom they tolled because they sure weren't tolling for me.

---

As I walked away from the bells, I finally had a quintessential Cameron-moment. For those of you who know me, perhaps you know that I am a pretty introspective guy. But, it has been several weeks since I've been able to be introspective. And, it has driven me nuts.

I've been super busy these past six or so weeks. Work has presented a few big challenges (especially in August) and I've been in the field training for most of September. I'm behind in emails. I'm behind in reaching several of my own personal goals. I haven't been home in weeks. It's been crazy.

In the midst of all the busyness, I tried to break away and allow for some Cameron-time. But, it never quite materialized. My mind was so consumed with other things that I couldn't get it tuned with my heart. But today, I finally reconnected with myself.

I walked and eventually found the bench by the church. There, I read and tried to get a grip on me. Then the ringing of the bells happened. It was consistent. Loud. Obnoxious after the third minute. Laugh-out-loud-frustrating after the eighth. And, it broke my concentration.

I tried to fight through it and keep reading. Keep journaling. But, the ding-dong invaded my inner peace right before the peace took root.

Then, it was silent again. The bells stopped. I ventured once more towards the introspective threshold.

But, the bells started their ding-gong-clang-dong-cling chorus a few minutes later. I packed up and started to walk away frustrated. But, as I walked and as the ringing faded, I had my moment. I was introspective and clarity descended. Somethings clicked, or at least started to click. I felt connected to my heart for the first time in a while, and it felt great.

Maybe those bells weren't tolling for me, but I think they jostled a part of me awake again.

And I needed it.