Don't Remember Your Birthday

I was alone this past Saturday as I "celebrated" my birthday. Honestly, I didn't really celebrate because a party for one isn't as much fun as it sounds.

Two of my brothers had this feeling when they celebrated birthdays in warzones. One of them sent me an email and told me the best way to handle a birthday alone is to not even make the day special. Don’t think about it or you’ll get depressed. For the most part, I took his advice.

But, I gave myself four simple moments to remember that it was a less-than-ordinary day:

1. I skyped with my parents. My Mom and Dad are the epitome of amazing and have sacrificed so much to give me the life I know lead. I carry them with me in all my endeavors and they are the strongest people I know. Being thousands of miles away makes me miss them so much. But, it was great to see them as they awoke in Colorado and immediately remembered that it was my birthday.

2. I skyped with my three brothers. Somehow they were all able to get together this past weekend in NC, and I was able to join in for a few minutes. I love these men so much. If I could spend the rest of my days hanging out with them and their better halves, I’d take it in a second. Our conversation was short, but it was a huge highlight of my day.

3. I read through the dozens of emails and facebook notifications. I was overwhelmed as I looked at the mass of messages from people from all periods of my life. How neat to remember faces, intimate moments, and capture fading memories as I scrolled through and spent time with each message! It was humbling and reminded me that while I was alone on my birthday, I’m not alone on this Earth. I bet I could post a plea for help and many of those people would drop their lives and come running. What an amazing blessing!

4. I recalled what a rollercoaster the past 4 years have been and where I was for my past birthdays. Tell me this isn’t crazy:

-2007 - Winston Salem, NC: Many of my best friends in college were studying abroad in England and I was sad that they weren’t with me to celebrate my 21st. But, a surprise party was thrown in my honor and I ended up having a good time.

-2008 – Valparaiso, Chile: I had just begun studying in South America and I hastily told some of my newly made friends that it was my birthday. We went and grabbed drinks and tapas at a local bar.

-2009 – Petersburg, Virginia: I was all alone and in a rough period of my life doing some Army training. I wasn’t sure I was even going to celebrate my birthday at all, but one of my best friends, Justin, drove down from Richmond and brought some beer late at night. We hung out, watched football, and talked. His trip meant so much to me.

-2010 – Istanbul, Turkey: I flew here to visit one of my great friends, Will, from Colorado. We walked the streets that night, reconnected, and later explored one of the coolest places I’ve been in Europe.

-2011 – Kaiserslautern, Germany: I just moved here to start a new job. I was alone, but I was reminded that I’m not really alone. I found a jazz concert and bought a ridiculously expensive meal just because I felt like I should.

So, from 2007-2011, I celebrated my birthday on three continents, four countries, and two different states. Crazy! I guess that’s an indicator that I lack stability in life. Nevertheless, my stability is rooted in the network of friends and family that encompass me.

Thank you all for remembering me this past weekend. It’s amazing how something like a short birthday message can change the course of an ordinary day. I'll think I'll remember this one for a while.

A German Key

The German word for “the key” is der Schlüssel. You may think you can say it, but I’m pretty sure you can’t.

I’ve spent a small, yet considerably ridiculous amount of time in my life simply attempting the correct pronunciation. One afternoon at church, I literally sat a table with my German friends and spent fifteen solid minutes looking like an idiot. For the life of me, I cannot say der Schlüssel.

Anyways, this past Saturday I was doing some cleaning in my basement storage. But, the moment I shut my apartment door to head downstairs, I realized my plans had changed.

I had locked myself out.

I was wearing slippers and had my phone; I did not have meine Schlüssel. Resources were limited, but I felt hopeful I could escape this dilemma with my dignity intact.

I was wrong.

I brainstormed some commando-Rambo options, but settled for calling my landlord who doesn’t speak English. After calling several times with no answer, I found the courage to leave a voicemail in German. It wasn’t pretty because I only know about 50 words in German and my confidence in saying one important one, der Schlüssel, is pretty abysmal. I stuttered, said about nine variations of der Schlüssel, hung up, and hoped for the best.

An hour later, nothing had happened and I was getting hungry and needed to pee. It was time for Mission: Be A Fool. I heard my neighbor shuffling about and intercepted him on his walk to the car.

Hand gestures ensued and I followed him to his apartment like a depressed dog thinking, ‘WHY CAN’T I SPEAK THIS LANGUAGE?!’ He tried calling my landlord to explain the situation, but got the voicemail too. Running out of options and bladder space, I began miming my desire to find a ladder and climb the 30 feet to my balcony.

The neighbor shot a confused glance, and so I mimed with even more gusto. A few minutes later I was climbing up the side of my apartment complex with a few of my neighbors standing on their balconies to investigate. They shouted encouragement, or questions, or curses (I couldn’t tell), and I smiled and tried in vain to say, "I don’t have der freaking Schlüssel.”

I hopped over my railing, raised my hands and exclaimed loudly, in English, “VICTORY!”

I was back in my apartment, key/Schlüssel firmly in hand, and ready to take on another day in Germany.

Yellow

Coldplay wrote a song called, "Yellow". In 1883, a printer in Wyoming accidentally created the first "yellow pages" after he ran out of white paper when creating a telephone directory. Light with a wavelength of 570–590nm is "yellow." A few months ago, I took some pictures of "yellow."


That's my town in the background. The fields around my apartment just bloomed into yellow blankets covering the Earth back in April and May. The farmers harvest the flower for some medicinal reason that I couldn't understand in German.


I ran through this field; I stained my pants yellow.


This hill was a little oasis in the middle of the famous Black Forest in southern Germany. Heinz and I drove for hours just enjoying the beauty and the winding roads of the forest. We came upon this yellow hill and just had to stop.


Heinz was happy to be in the midst of the dandelions (that's him jumping). He stained his shoes running down through the yellow sea of flowers to the car after I told him it was time to go eat lunch.

Vegetarian Escapades

I’m not a vegetarian. But, I was once.

Brief history: After realizing for months that I need to eat more vegetables, I finally decided to take action and do something about it. Last weekend, I tossed out the idea to my roommate, Heinz, that we should remove meat from our diets during the workweek (Monday-Friday’s lunch). After ironically talking about it over a meal of delicious pork chops, he consented and the experiment was on. We agreed to try it for a month.

But the first week was easily filled with the life lessons I needed to know.

The first thing you should know about being a vegetarian is that you should never become one during the pandemonium of an E. coli outbreak. Germany has been fighting a deadly outbreak for the past few weeks and over 30 people have been killed due to eating contaminated vegetables. Leafy greens, asparagus, and bean sprouts, etc. were potential villains causing profound intestinal unhappiness or even death. So, I scaled back my veggie consumption and I didn’t even eat a salad all week. How does a vegetarian not eat a salad in 5 days?! So, instead of the colorful display I expected from a vegetarian diet, white rice and black beans proved to be the bland staple.

I also learned that there are always exceptions. I started out passionate to complete my experiment and eat great food like my vegetarian friends do. By Monday afternoon, my passion was waning, and I began contemplating exceptions to the vegetarian diet. Are eggs are ok? What about fish? If fish is ok, than all seafood should be fine, right? What about just a little bit meat on top of a slice of cheese pizza? By Tuesday’s lunch, I gave in to all of these exceptions except the pizza one. I see it as a minor compromise.

And compromise is what turns conflict into success. Obviously.

Throughout the week, Heinz and I kept reminding each other that Friday’s meat-filled dinner was just 76 hours away. 31 hours away. 15 hours away. These motivational moments failed to ease my disappointment as I walked by succulent BBQ ribs and filled my plate with rice and beans in the cafeteria on my Army post.

We also joked (rather seriously) that on the weekends, we would have a meat only diet to ensure the universe’s equilibrium was well cared for.

At the end of the week, Heinz and I broke our fast with a cheap schnitzel that only cost about three bucks. It was glorious. Meat is amazing. It’s that simple. I thank God for giving us the ability and permission to kill animals and receive delectable energy and nutrients from them. It’s a great gift.

Upon re-realizing this amazing fact and contemplating on the struggles of lesson # 1, Heinz and I decided to forgo the rest of the experiment. We’ve since eaten lots of meat. Every meal has been scrumptious and worthy of my consumption. It’s a good life.

But, I’ll always look back at these days in Germany and remember when I was a vegetarian. Perhaps I’ll get some credit from my true vegetarian friends or ridiculed by my friends who know better, but regardless, I’ll remember that these were the days when I abstained from something I love, and in the end realized that I loved it so much more.

(Note: The picture shows my lunch on Saturday at a local wine festival. Clearly, the vegetarian era is over.)

Note to You

I was recently back in America for a bit and several people mentioned that they missed my blog. I honestly didn’t realize that I hadn’t written a new entry since February. That’s insane.

I’m sorry about that. The past few months were pretty cruel to me and my writing suffered. But, I’m now recommitted to writing and engaging the blogosphere. So, bear with me as I get a grip on a new perspective (of Smith) and re-energize my adventure.

And, thank you for your love and support. Just knowing that a few people out there read this thing make it worthwhile to write.

Now, I'm going to try round two of sleeping (for more, see previous post).

Sleeping Miracle

Sleep is an awesome thing, and I’m not good at it. I’ve spent many hours laying pointlessly awake in my bed wondering when the miracle of sleep would happen for me. Of course, it happens often enough, but not as easily as I wish.

If you think about it, sleep really is somewhat miraculous. I have no idea what happens or how it happens. One minute I’m awake, and the next minute I’m awake eight hours later. Time flies by when you are sleeping and you really have no control. It just happens. And then, it just ends. Somehow you miraculously float into a temporary oblivion. It’s ridiculous.

Now, I’m sure there is an answer on Wikipedia or WebMD, but I’ve never looked it up. I’m content just loving the mystery of sleep.

But, I hate not being able to sleep. Sleepless nights are some of the worst things I deal with on a regular basis. Nowadays, I can literally feel stress coarse through my body when I realize that I’ve been awake for two hours, and that I won’t be able to get six hours of sleep before the morning wakeup.

Some people can sleep so easily though. My roommate, Heinz, can sleep easier than anybody I know. He falls asleep on most car trips. He often dozes off after reading only two pages of a book! He goes to sleep quickly at night. I’m envious.

Tonight, I can’t sleep. Heinz is still awake, but when he goes to bed, he’ll be sleeping in a matter of minutes. When I’m done typing, I’ll saunter back to my room and lie there wondering when the miracle will seize me.

Beautiful, Good Days

There are few days in a normal month when I don’t find myself sighing heavily at the beauty that surrounds me in German Bavaria. The rolling hills and freshly plowed fields evoke a transcendent emotion that is hard to ignore. I live in a beautiful place.

While it is still winter, mild days are the norm now. Snow doesn’t even linger any more. On clear days, wanderlust beckons from the roads and usually overcomes me.

The roads are windy and stretch for miles over gentle hills and disappear into patches of dark forests. Yes, they are inviting, and I indulge in the old-fashioned Sunday drive often over here. There are few Sabbath practices that better remind me of our Creator God than the rush of 100kmh on a two lane country road, with no car in sight, and the slight pressure on my body as the car glides around a tight turn.

Sometimes I wish I could just drive for hours. I want to drive and see the world around the next bend. Beyond the next grouping of tall pines. I want to slow down and pass through the small village with clay tiled roofs and cobblestone streets. I want to pull over, at some place I’ve never been, and stake my claim in a 50-acre tract of awe-inspiring earth.

The beauty is everywhere. From the roads or the trails in the forest, it’s impossible to wander and not walk in wonder.

And, this is where I spend my days. Where I labor and toil. Here, I am living, or trying to live, the life that fulfills the choir of passions that sings inside of me. I get angry sometimes because the song is often muted, but there are days, like today, when the choir is loud and the harmony sways with the crest and fall of each rolling hill.

These are the good days.

Snapshots of Life

I haven't written much lately. While I write more for me than for you, I know I'm overdue for some blogging.

But, I'm rediscovering the equilibrium in my life and while I'm getting adjusted, here are some recent snapshots (or snap-videos) of life in the past few months.



Sadly, my German hasn't improved much since July or August of last year. I still look like a fool when I interact with my neighbors. For a glimpse, watch the video. Background: Heinz and I went to Austria for a ski trip before Christmas and decided to play a joke on our waitress and our stupid selves. Watch her face as Heinz orders five apple strudels while gesturing that he wants two. Note: the camera is concealed by a menu and my arm.



One of the coolest traditions I've discovered in Germany is the Christmas markets that pop up in every big city and small village in December. Essentially, wooden booths are erected in city squares and people gather every evening in the cold to drink gluhwhein, eat bratwursts and delectable sweets. It is a neat display of community in the midst of freezing temperatures. Heinz and I enjoyed the most famous one in Nuremberg.



A typical day of work for some of my Soldiers. I am the Platoon Leader of a Maintenance Platoon (43 men and women) and my guys are some great mechanics. We keep all the trucks and equipment working in the entire Battalion.



(Note: This one is a little graphic) While my Soldiers are mechanics in the Army, they are Soldiers first. I took them to the gas chamber in the Fall for some good training....inside the chamber, they took off their gas masks and were exposed to the toxic gas. The intent was to show them that gas masks work and not to freak out when we are hit with WMD type missiles.



On tough days, small things like this mean so much. I bought some ink cartridges from Best Buy online and when the package arrived (mailed to my special military address), this note accompanied the package. It was humbling and pretty powerful. I know the troops are not forgotten, but here in Germany my Soldiers don't witness the everyday support that US-stationed Soldiers do. So, thank you Best-Buy employee....your kindness meant a lot to me.



I'll be honest...sometimes I forget that I live in a foreign country. 65 hour work weeks with Soldiers can make me absent minded about the fact that I live in Germany. But, one morning, I was vividly reminded of where I lay my head. I was awaken at 7:12am on Saturday by this...!!!

So, there you go. Some snapshots of my life.